Welcome to Week One of He Gave Us Stories, a message series based upon the parables of Jesus. The dictionary definition of a parable is as follows: A parable is a succinct, didactic story, in prose or verse, that illustrates one or more instructive lessons or principles. It differs from a fable in that fables employ animals, plants, inanimate objects, or forces of nature as characters, whereas parables have human characters.
Jesus often used parables in the Gospels to teach a lesson or deliver a point. This week, leading up to next Sunday, we’re going to be looking at the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant from Matthew chapter 18. The interesting thing here is that Jesus didn’t start out telling a parable, he simply gave the disciples some instructions. But when a question from Peter showed that the disciples were focusing on the LETTER of the instructions instead of the SPIRIT of them, Jesus shifted to this parable. Parables are meant to make you feel, to empathize with the pictures you recognize of yourself.
We’re going to step through the parable, but first, for the greater context, we’ll begin with the instruction portion where Jesus was telling his disciples how to settle disputes between members of the church. Let’s get started!
Prayer Guides authored by Tracy Lautenschlager.
Index to Days 2 through 5
Day 1
Instructions on Disputes
Observe
Jesus lays out the three step process that is often called “The Matthew 18 Principle.” It governs how disputes between believers are to be settled.
Matthew 18:15-20
If Your Brother Sins Against You
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
1 Corinthians 6:1-8
Lawsuits Against Believers
1 When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!
In this situation, one Christian has sinned “against” another. The clear implication here is that harm has been done. Jesus gives a three step process to follow. First, the offended party should go directly to the one they have issue with and speak privately to them. If the matter is resolved, that is best and actually strengthens the bond between them. If there is no resolution, then a second attempt should be made except this time the offended party brings one or two others with them (ideally these would be mature Christians with no standing in the matter). Finally, if the matter is still unresolved, take it to the church (in our case, the elders who make up the Session). If either party refuses to abide by the judgment of the Session, Jesus says that party should be treated as a “Gentile or a tax collector.” In other words, they should no longer enjoy the privileges of being part of the body of Christ. Elsewhere, Paul warns Christians against suing one another in court (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). Certainly that shouldn’t be the first option, but following Jesus’ instructions here, if the matter cannot be resolved within the church, then all options would logically be open to the wounded party.
Deeper Dive: Verses 18, 19, and 20 are often quoted singly and applied wildly out of context. The binding and loosing Jesus speaks of in verse 18 is strictly the decision of the elders regarding the status of those who refuse to submit to their wisdom. Verse 19 is often quoted to mean that God is somehow bound to do anything that two believers ask him to do. Yet James tells us that we don’t have what we ask for because we ask for the wrong thing, intended for personal benefit or gain. God cannot be compelled to act by our prayers. That foolishness comes out of prosperity gospel preachers. Verse 20 refers to the gathering of the church in this matter of judgment. While it may legitimately be applied to any gathering of the New Testament church, here it is linked to this meeting for judgment. Having long been an elder myself and involved in many such meetings, I can tell you without fear of contradiction that those involved in such meetings desperately seek the Lord’s wisdom and guidance, and time after time I have felt God’s Spirit bring peace to a difficult decision through such gatherings.
- Why is it important for believers to follow Jesus’ instructions here when resolving disputes and offenses among themselves?
- Why do you think modern church members often refuse to follow the instructions of Jesus’ found here?
Heavenly Father, This instruction on resolving disputes seems revolutionary every time I read it. I confess that I would rather complain to my friends than speak openly to the person concerned and risk a confrontation. Often this is because I know that I’m not entirely innocent in the matter. Lord, help me to humbly examine myself first. Show me the truth in my own heart, and then guide me in following these principles. Your grace to me is unending; help me to show grace with strength to my brothers and sisters when conflicts arise. Amen.
Day 2
Unlimited Forgiveness
Observe
The instructions of Jesus are linked with the parable of the Unforgiving Servant by this question from Peter. Peter clearly understands from Jesus’ instructions that we’re being told to forgive one another, and Peter wants to know what might be the limits on that.
Matthew 18:21-22
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
The custom among the Hebrews was that a person might be forgiven for a repeated sin three times, but on the fourth offense no forgiveness was possible. So Peter no doubt felt he was being very generous suggesting to Jesus that he might forgive his brother “as many as seven times.” Depending on which New Testament manuscripts you prefer, Jesus either said seventy-seven times or seventy TIMES seven, meaning 490 times. In neither is Jesus giving an actual number. He’s saying there IS no limit. We forgive as often as it is needed. Does this mean we overlook harm or allow any dangerous or unhealthy situation to continue? By no means! What’s under discussion here are matters where a graceful and forgiving response can bring peaceful reconciliation. When that is possible, it should be done, no matter how often.
- Which is easier for you, to forgive someone else or asking someone else to forgive you? Do you understand why?
- As we said, abusive situations or ones where there is imminent danger or clear potential for harm are not subject to this pursuit of reconciliation. Although Jesus does not specifically address that kind of behavior here, he gave a command in John’s Gospel that clearly would exclude it. What was it? (If you need help, check out John 13:34-35)
Dear Jesus, Thank you for preserving here in scripture these stories of Peter! How I identify with his tendency to speak before thinking. But he did not yet understand the great price you would pay to secure our salvation or the cost of forgiveness. But I know the rest of the story, that you willingly suffered and died and rose again to pay the price of my sin, and I have experienced your forgiveness. I come to you over and over to confess sin, and you are faithful to forgive. Make me more like you. Help me to forgive without keeping score. Amen.
Day 3
We Have Been Forgiven Much
Observe
The parable opens with a servant who owed his master a vast sum. When he is unable to pay, a bad outcome would’ve been customary, but the master chose to forgive him instead.
Matthew 18:23-27
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
Luke 7:36-50
A Sinful Woman Forgiven
36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” 44 Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
The parable begins with a servant who owes his master ten thousand talents. That’s a vast sum of money. It couldn’t be paid by a servant, even a slave sold at market fetched at most about one talent. This servant owed a debt he could not pay. It’s time now for one of those honesty checks. ALL of us, every SINGLE one of us, knows more about ourselves than anyone else does. Even those closest to me do not know some of the thoughts or impulses that my flesh pops up with, and by God’s grace I’m able to shrug them off, but in his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes clear that what goes on in the privacy of our own thoughts DOES matter to God. We have the best scoreboard for our lives; I can tell you far more about my failures than even my wife could. Only one person knows us better. (You can see where this is going, right?) God. He knows everything we’ve done, wanted to do but didn’t do, entertained a fleeting thought about—he knows absolutely everything. All of which is an offense against his holiness and any of which is enough to send us out of his presence forever. And yet, even with his perfect knowledge of all we’ve done, God has chosen to forgive us. He sacrificed himself in the person of Jesus Christ to make it possible. This part of the parable answers the question of why God expects us to forgive one another. It’s because of how staggeringly much we ourselves have been forgiven by him.
- Before you came to faith in Jesus, did you have an understanding that you were a sinner and needed forgiveness?
- How much freedom and relief did you feel when you understood that God has forgiven you for everything you’ve ever done or will do? Has that feeling changed over time? In what way?
Dear Lord, I confess that I take for granted the life of grace you have given me. I forget how dark and hopeless life would be apart from you. Make it new to me now and every morning. Open my eyes to people around me who are living without hope, without you, and strengthen me to tell them about you. Give me words to speak of your forgiveness and the peace it brings. Amen.
Day 4
Missing the Point
Observe
The servant who had just been forgiven for an incredible debt shows a staggering lack of judgment when encountering someone who owes a debt to him.
Matthew 18:28-30
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
The debt owed here is not insignificant. One denarii would have been a day’s wage for a common laborer. Picture this as a hundred days wages and you’ve about got it right. But when compared to ten thousand talents, one hundred denarii is a tiny amount. The significance of the first servant having the second one put in prison is that even the lowest value slave would sell for about five hundred denarii and it was illegal to sell someone in debtor’s prison for more than the sum of their debt. So the first servant was condemning the second servant to remain in prison until his friends or family were able to satisfy the debt. Not only was the servant who owed the debt being punished, but those close to him would have been punished also. In light of how the master had forgiven him, it was a staggeringly insensitive thing for the first servant to have done.
- Think of a time when you have either had to ask someone else to forgive a debt or have been asked by someone else to forgive what they owed you. What happened? What was it that influenced your decision either to ask or to forgive?
- How do you think it can become possible for us to take lightly the overwhelming forgiveness of God toward our own sin?
Dear Jesus, At times I think that I stumble and take offense at the same types of things, over and over, and I don’t really understand why. Lord, show me the wounds I may be trying to hide. Help me to lay them before you and to experience your healing forgiveness. Help me to remember that your forgiveness is complete and makes a clean slate, and then strengthen me to forgive as you have forgiven me. Amen.
Day 5
The Master Finds Out
Observe
In the conclusion of the parable, the master is made aware of the first servant’s actions. He is incensed and summons the servant before him, the result of which is predictable.
Matthew 18:31-35
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Mark 11:25
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
In this parable, Jesus is not suggesting that we might get away with unforgiveness towards each other if we would all just keep our mouths shut. When the master is the all-knowing, all-seeing God, he does not rely on fellow servants to be tattletales. The master finds out and takes action to punish the servant who did not forgive his fellow servant. The ESV translation here uses the word jailer in verse 34, which gives the impression that the master consigned the unforgiving servant to the same punishment as the unforgiving servant insisted on for the sum owed to him. But the word clearly carries a meaning of tormenting or vexing, through inflicting pain, and most other English translations use either torturers, tormentors or “jailers to be tormented” in translating this verse. The point is, the punishment prescribed by the master toward the unforgiving servant is an active one. Should we fail to forgive one another, God’s action against us will not wait for future judgment but would include chastisement in this life as well.
Finally, note that Jesus adds a condition to the forgiveness we are to show toward one another. It must be from the heart, that is, it must be genuine. Even if we execute the act of forgiving another’s offense, until that has come from our heart (which biblically refers to the center of our reason, emotions, and will), we have not complied with the spirit of this command. Depending on the offense (the size of the debt, to use the current metaphor), it may be difficult or seemingly impossible for us to forgive, as it were, from the heart. For such a feat, we need to turn to God and let his Holy Spirit soften our stony hearts until they can again beat with God’s love toward others.
- Think about the principle being taught here: God expects that we will forgive one another and will chastise us if we do not. What is your reaction to that?
- God never commands us to do something he will not help us with. Can you think of a time when God’s Spirit has produced a heartfelt forgiveness either in you toward someone else, or in someone else toward you? What happened?
Father God, It’s kind of frightening to consider that I may experience your active correction. A parent knows what will hurt most without causing harm. You know my heart better than I know myself, and so I know that your correction would reach deep and be memorable. But I know that you love me and your correction is not condemnation. Lord, help me to yield to your leading early and often, but if correction is needed, send it. For I am yours. Conform me to your image. Amen.